Bright Birds and Snow

It seems this winter that every Sunday is a day of snow.  I know spring is around the corner; I know it must come - it never doesn't, right? But it feels these days like the snow is forever.

Yesterday I did feel a lightening, because in the morning when I awoke I heard the birds outside. We are so lucky to have so many songbirds living and visiting in our yard, despite the cats. Lillie loves them, and we are slowly slowly learning their names as a family.  Cardinals are easy, but I have also been pleased to greet as friends  the sparrows that love our quince bush, the nuthatches, and the  little chickadees. We've even seen some robins about, which are one of our favorites, for obvious Nana-related reasons. The Mass Audubon site is stupendous, and I highly recommend it.

This week I wish for:
1. STABILITY: I wish to feel grounded, to feel safe, to feel all those false things about being in control that aren't real. I wish to believe in them this week. I think.

 Maybe really I want to transcend them. I want to recognize that there is always complete safety, as well as total free fall. This man, Neils Bohr, was no joke. His concept of opposites being complementary is affecting me like Occam's Razor once did. TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS, THINGS WE THINK OF AS MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, CAN BE TRUE AT THE SAME TIME. I put it in caps because I am still practicing assimilating this. I am still recalibrating around this idea, and capital letters are so reassuring.

2. JOY: I would like a little awesome sauce. Something awesome to come down the pike. Or maybe just the ability to notice something awesome.

As for last week, perspective was granted. My sister lost her job, and she was on the verge of hysterical meltdown, and I was able (Phbbbt, phbbbt, phbbbt, knock on wood with gratitude) to NOT absorb the hysteria, but the keep on enjoying life and remembering how fabulous everything actually is, and even to help her remember.  And I had a very scary meeting with a scary person, and I was able to ask for help, and help was granted (thank you thank you Katie-dear) and the meeting was much less scary than expected. AND even though I get nervous, I was able to trust my body to be ok, and I trained jiu-jitsu, the excellence of which I have trouble articulating. So, goodness.

In light of the snow and my developing affection for birds, I leave you with a little e.e. cummings:

                                                    this is the garden: colours come and go,

        frail azures fluttering from night's outer wing

strong silent green serenely lingering,

     absolute lights like baths of golden snow.

He was good, wasn't he? 

Green. Ahh. Green.