New Friend

 

So. Yesterday I went to the Cape to see my family and we ended up in Provincetown, at a tattoo parlor called Mooncusser, which I loved, and I got a new friend.

Let us be clear, I have exactly two tattoos, counting this one. Not to knock those who have many more, but just to make clear that I take my tattoos seriously and am deliberate with them.

I decided on a dragonfly because I recently noticed how many of them have been flying around me and landing on me, and being visible near by, and I recently listened to a talk by Sarah Bamford Seidelman, all about noticing beasties and trying to talk to them, and so I sat down earlier this week and gave it a shot. 

At the risk of sounding super bat shit crazy, I will just say that it was remarkable.

And the message Dragonfly gave me was so reassuring I wanted to remember it always, and so when the opportunity arose, so easily, I got a new friend. 

It is also important to note that the anniversary of losing my boy is coming up this weekend, and that I have been wanting to mark that with a tattoo ever since it happened, and marking it with a creature all about impermanence, and air and water and flight, and freaky beauty, simplicity (because of how slow its wings move), deeper implications and flexibility, well that seemed pretty perfect.

I partly waited so long because I couldn't quite get there. Not everyone in my household approves, and purposefully disappointing those I am most dependent on has never been my strong suit.

One of the things Dragonfly helped me see is that being myself, exactly as I am, is pretty perfect, so when I think I am disappointing someone by being fully present as I am, they are actually disappointing me. 

THEY ARE ACTUALLY DISAPPOINTING ME. 

This is big. Tattoo big. Plus, it's so beautiful. Ron did such a good job. And he was exactly the right person to do it, because at the end he showed me one of his tattoos, which was a portrait of.... wait for it... TOM WAITS. 

The least, my friends, this is the least of the awesome that is out there.